50 Funny Valentine's Day Quotes For Her & Him (2024) (2024)

These funny Valentine’s Day quotes and messages are perfect for everyone, whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between.

Valentine’s Day is fantastic! However, the strain can occasionally become too great. Planning dates, giving gifts, and preparing special desserts may all be satisfying but suddenly become stressful. These funny Valentine’s Day quotes are perfect way to lighten the mood of your partner by having some fun. Use these succinct sayings as subtitles for your humorous Valentine’s Day cards or wishes.

You can either send one of these funny quotes to your Valentine on message or you can post them on your Instagram or include them in your Valentine’s Day card.

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes & Messages For Her & Him

• “I found the person who annoys me the least and called it love.” – Anonymous

• “I love you more than chocolate.”- Unknown
• “Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.” – Lewis Black
• “I’m so glad I swiped right.” – Unknown
• “Roses are red. Violets are blue. My Valentine’s date is cuter than yours.” – Anonymous
• “I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” – Tracy Smith

• “If paper valentines were still a thing, I’d give mine to you.”
• “To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” – H. L. Mencken
• “Every pizza I love every pizza you have.”
• “I love you more than my coffee”.
• “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

• “Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm… easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott, The Office
• “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” — Henny Youngman
• “If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji, they don’t love you back.” — Chelsea Peretti
• “I like the way you chew my mind like a bar of chocolate. It’s just a matter of days before I become brain dead because of your love!” – Anonymous
• “I need to upgrade the power of my glasses because I’m blindly in love with you.” – Anonymous

• “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” – Tim Allen

Also Read: 50 Best Valentine’s Day Instagram Captions

Short Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes & Messages

• Here’s to being my emergency contact someday.
• Happy Valentine’s Day to the best thing I ever found online.
• You’re the only person I send the heart eyes emoji to.
• I’d share my door with you if we were on a sinking ship.

• “The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.” — Dolly Parton
• Valentine’s Day sucks, but you don’t.
• “Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schulz
• You’re so lucky to have me.

• We share a life, but don’t touch my food.
• “Love is being stupid together.” — Paul Valery
• You can’t buy love, but you can spend a lot of money on it.”
• The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.
• All you need is love. And a little chocolate.

• Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
• Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener!
• “Love is a grave mental illness.” — Plato
• If love is blind. Why is lingerie so popular?

• My love language is making fun of you
• Sorry, I can’t flirt anymore. I got a crush to stay loyal to
• “I love you more than food”
• “I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!” — Jenny Han

• Marry a man, your age as your beauty fades so will his eyesightPeople don’t fall in love because of gravity.
• “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” – Oscar Wilde
• The brain is the most incredible organ. It works twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year, from the moment you are born until you fall in love.

Also Read:

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes For Singles

• Who said you need to have a valentine to celebrate valentine’s day? We don’t need HIV to celebrate AIDS day.
• For me, there can’t be any better way to spend this valentine’s day but with love of my life – food.
• “Valentine’s Day is for couples. Us singles have the other 364 days of the year to enjoy ourselves!” — Unknown
• “S.I.N.G.L.E = Strong, Independent, Noticeable, Generous, Loyal and Enlightened” – Unknown

• “If being in love is what it means to be free, then this Valentine’s Day my heart is in solitary confinement!” – Unknown
• “I’m single because I was born that way.” – Mae West

Also Read: Best Love Quotes For Her That You Must Read

Happy Valentine’s Day!